starting over

Oh boy, here I am 3 months later than everyone else. I was walking the dog today and and you suddenly popped into my mind. I wondered how you were getting on in Canada
Typical of me to not think about you earlier.
I hope things are betterish and the book is going well.

Just found your blog. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re having a difficult time. A friend of mine is in a similar situation and has had a pretty miserable Christmas. Being a grown up sucks a lot of the time. I do envy carefree twentysomethings. I just wish you better times and hope that your blog may be a cathartic way of getting things off your chest. Hopefully the knowledge that people are thinking about you will go some way to helping you through.

I have a feeling if you ever bring the kids over to visit your ex in Calgary — you will have more than one offer from a cyber Calgarian friend for a place to stay. I’m disappointed you aren’t moving here, but glad you are at a place of ‘finding’ your feet again. Will continue following … and if you ever visit Calgary, would love to offer a place to stay.

I’ve been thinking about you and hoping you are doing OK. Glad to see you back here x

Hi – I’ve only just found your blog via the guest Christmas Traditions post you did over on Pippa’s blog.

I’m afraid I don’t have any amazing, insightful advice to give apart from I really hope and pray that it all goes as smoothly as possible for you this Christmas. And that you get to enjoy yourself as well. x

You can do this honey. You are an amazing woman. x

A crappy time indeed, and you not moving to Calgary is our loss!!

Cyber hugs across the miles – you will muddle by just fine – some days better than others. And I agree – wine will help!

Remember to take care of yourself and everything else will somehow fall into place …. eventually.

X

I stumbled across your blog from somewhere I don’t know where, oh yes, Twitter, and in a matter of minutes I’m (**got dust in my eye**) from reading your pages and ending up at this one.

How sodding horrible for you. I hope everything works out well for you.

I’m 43, a bloke, and I’ve just bookmarked your blog. Nice one.

I also thought you were going to Canada too, that was the last I heard. Bummer you wont come visit me? I’m FAR from that end of Canada. I will continue to read and keep you company.

You are shiny and beautiful too. Always remember that. Your children have you, and that’s what matters most. It may not seem like it in the middle of the night w hen you’re worrying about everything, but they’ll be okay. Hugs to you.

I’ve been a very absent friend but I’d love to meet up – soon! – and hear all your woes (((hugs))). You are brave and strong and your children will reform because that’s what children who are loved and supported and listened to, do.

Hello you! I’m so glad you are here because I’m very selfish. I love this blog and all the adventures you have and will have,. Yes it will be hard, very difficult at times but it will also be amazing and wonderful. We are here for you in whatever guise you want – nice, slapping legs, offering shoulders – you name it – we’ve got it! Now, about that dish washer….! xx

I know that everyone will be by your side as you take this road along the journey of life.

Wow. I’d be honoured to keep you company.

You are such a special person and writer [I met you at CyberMummy] I look forward to seeing you published… then you can pay someone else to pick up the yoghurt wrappers, paper and Lego people (but never let them take the wine glass, you never know when you might need a wee sip…..)

Been thinking of you…Mari said it, one day at a time, hugs for the children. And wine (that bit’s mine). Hugs for you all. I’ve got a feeling that Life Part Two is going to be pretty damn good for you, because you will make it so x

It’s not starting over, it’s taking things back up now the dust has started to settle – and we’re here whenever you have the time and mentally space

With love x

Very sorry to read about what has happened. I would be in exactly the same position re untidiness, but it is true that loving your children & yourself and cuddling and laughing with them is the most important thing and you always write with such love about your family. Your photographs are lovely (brilliant one of hen) and you are a very talented writer, so, as a footballer said whose name I have forgotten, ‘play to your strengths’. When I next go to church I will light a candle for you, and when I look around my untidy home & depressedly retrieve mouldy yogurt pot tops from under the settee I will say another prayer for us both!

Crikey, and aggggh. I sound like a real sap for saying it, but poor you: ex husband and dead chicken. But you are still here and that speaks volumes. Looking forward to watching you kick ass!

Very sorry to hear what you are going through Rachel, so difficult. I wish you all the support and strength you need. I feel for you and the kids.

oh rachel, I am so sorry to read about your news. I have often wondered how you were getting on with your big move to Canada and kept popping over to your blog and FB page to see if I had missed any updates. I too have found that life is messy, no matter how hard at times you try to tidy it up but you & the children will get there – take it slowly and only do as much as you feel you can – a whopping big virtual hug to you & yours. x

Every wall is a potential door, they say. Nope, I don’t know what it means either. However I do think you’ll do just fine.

Good luck dear friend. Even though we’ve never met, I think of you as a friend. Just read an article in the November 2011 Red called “The Secret Side of Splitting Up”. Not sure if it will help, but worth a look. I’m glad you are staying in England. Take care!

x x x

I think you’re frightfully strong – I admire your warrior like ways. Always here for you (((hugs)))

Don’t know what else to say other than this: drink wine, it’ll help. xx

So dreadfully sorry to hear whats happened but I’m glad you’ve come back There’s lots of support and brains to pick for help and advice here! Xxxx

Remember that you have fire and blood in your veins bonny lassie

Sounds like you’re doing a smashing job, you’ve got your children and that’s all that matters. Good luck with everything xx

So very sorry to hear your news. It is tough but it can be done and my advice (having been there and done it) is to break it all down into little manageable pieces and tackle them one at a time. It will give you a sense of achievement as you conquer each little bit. Mending the dishwasher can be done and for the children – lots of love, plenty of cuddles and just plain simple being there. Big hugs – you can do this xx

It gets better . I was divorced in July.
I have two children, teenagers. It s been horrid and messy but life is moving on. Onwards and upwards!
You re doing an amazing job looking after your children and moving. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for that.
Stay strong. Girl Power! Love Sarah xx

SO sorry to hear all of this – but you are right to be excited – and of course we will all be with you!! “The times they are a changin….”

You’re doing great honey. Having sorted out that lot in the last few months is AMAZING & with 4 little uns. My OH goes away quite a lot and I am always a gibbering wreck when he returns. The house is in chaos for most of the time he’s gone, so that’s just par for the course.

Single mums are HEROES & you’re gonna be finexxxx

Four years ago today my ex phoned me to tell me that he was leaving. That was the only time we ever discussed what had gone wrong woth our marriage. Nothing was mentioned again.Life was hard to start with. I had no idea which lightbulbs I needed let alone deal with anything such as a dying boiler.I soon realized that I couldn’t try and be superwoman and that I needed to ask for help when I couldn’t manage or felt like staying buried under my duvet for the day.My friends and family were amazing and tremendously supportive. Time did heal, and four years later I am about to remarry. My children are happy and successful and my ex and I are now friends again.Keep strong and positive. I promise you, there is light at the end of the tunnel. x

Welcome back.
Mess is okay with me. It was a transformative experience for me when I was studying herbs with Susun Weed and she turned to me and said, “Life is messy.”
I spent too much time trying to be tidy. Being alive is better.

You have got your work cut out. Good luck – oh and a tip from another untidy person -it’s never too late to train your kids up – maybe one of them will turn out to be a good tidy upper – my five year old son has – when I sit him in our bedroom ( equivalent of hte naughty step) he tidies it up as a si=ort of sorry I think!!

Love you. You’re going to be fine xx

Ugh! I haven’t been around much and had no idea this was happening for you. Sendeing strengthening hugs.

Just found a fantastic blog yesterday called “A Blog About Love” (ablogaboutlove.com) and think it may help you heal. They’ve been there, and survived.

You are doing a grand job of repairing things. This was lovely to read. I wish I was about more in real life over the next couple of weeks, but I will be again – you know?

And your children are gorgeous.

x x x x

You are brave. I went through something similar three years ago. If you allow people to help you with the things you find a little more difficult (as a highly-skilled-multi-tasking woman!) then you’ll be surprised how they step up and it’s often the ones you least expect. Good luck with the move, thinking of you and your lovely children. Hugs, Ellie x

Oh I actually had no idea you were staying in England, I thought you were going to Canada too. I’m quite shit at keeping up with the news aren’t I.

Starting over alongside you. Listening, hearing. X

always here. Wish the real here wasn’t quite so far from your there, but that’s another part of this grown up life. Hugs.